Today I started something that feels both simple yet slightly daunting.
For the next 30 days, I’m running an experiment.
On one blog, I’ll publish one article a day, Monday to Friday, in a niche I already know and care about.
On this blog, I’ll document what happens internally as I do that.
- Not just results
- Not just traffic
- But the inner shifts
Because I’m realising something about myself: I don’t fully trust transformation unless I can see how it happens.
So this is me treating my own mind like a living system and watching what changes as I show up consistently.
The Basics
- Article published today: No
- Word count: 879
- Time spent writing: 190 minutes
Not a great start. I jumped in the deep end with my first article choice. It’s a massive list post and will likely be around 2,500+ words.
But this is kind of the point in documenting things, because this whole experiment isn’t about growing a blog.
It’s about tracking performance based on identity and mindset change.
Why I’m Doing This
I’ve spent years studying and applying change. Understanding the principles and seeing shifts happen in myself almost invisibly.
And that’s a problem.
I know that transformation works, but I don’t know how to explain how it works. And if I can’t explain it, then I don’t know how to teach it.
And that’s what I want most. To teach and facilitate transformation.
I also struggled tremendously to learn in school and had many traumatising experiences. This led to decades of avoiding the thing I love most; learning, developing skills, being resourceful… and people.
So when I started learning how to change, my identity crumbled pretty quickly.
That was great for rapid growth, but not for anchoring the information in my mind.
I managed to break several dopamine addictions including sugar, gaming, Netflix, and social media in the space of 18 months.
I’ve also been sober for just over 6 years.
So my intention is to start doing what I love. Learning about topics I’m interested in and develop the skill of teaching through writing.
My assumption is that this will help me integrate the mechanics of how transformation works so I can be a better teacher.
What I’ll Be Observing
Over the next 30 days, I’m paying attention to:
- How long it takes me to start
- What thoughts show up before I write
- How resistance changes over time
- Whether consistency alters how I see myself
- And how all of that affects the actual output
The external goal is simple: publish consistently.
The internal goal is deeper: understand how change unfolds in real time.
Day 1 Insight
The hardest part wasn’t writing or even before starting.
It was after I realised I wasn’t going to succeed today. The feeling of failure and the internal voices shaming me about it.
But I know there is no such thing as failure. Only feedback.
And this experiment will externalise that feedback and potentially turn it into felt wisdom in my body.
We’ll see. But it starts with one day at a time.
See you tomorrow on day 2.